The Fall Picture Show 9.15.18 Mt. Shavano

 

Fall Picture Show Mt. Shavano

I camp out along CR 250, just short of the trail head.  My alarm rings at 4:30 am and I begrudgingly leave the warmth of my sleeping bag.  I want to be on the trail and in the trees when the sun comes up to catch the sunlight illuminating the colors of Fall.

I make last minute adjustments, put on my less than bright head lamp and start up the trail.  The forest is silent, and the sun has not yet peaked above the horizon.  I get into my usual rhythm and enjoy the coolness of the morning.  The forest is silent and still sleeping.  I walk quietly so as to not awake the forest before it is time.

Sun Rise 

The trail steeply climbs, and my body slows.  The sun begins to slowly creep above the horizon and I can now see without my headlamp.  As I continue up the trail I see spots of light in the trees and wonder if someone is standing in the trees with their headlamp on.  As I get closer I see that it is the sun filling the space between trees with rays of morning sunshine.  Light dances across the shimmering leaves, making its way through the trees. 

Light filtering through trees catches the eye and holds my attention so time stands still.  Watching how the forest changes as the sun moves across the sky is captivating and a process from which I never tire.  Each sunrise is a new day and is a new moment in time.  Viewing today’s sunrise does not spoil the surprise and intrigue of the sunrise of tomorrow or the next day.  Each one will be different than the one before, and special and captivating in its own rights.

Aspen Shimmer

The Aspen tree trunks have a smooth, white skin that contrasts against the shimmering Fall leaves of gold, orange, and best of all, bright red.  The skin so smooth looks almost human.  Sunlight gently highlights the edges of leaves, shimmering in the breeze.  This is one of the most intriguing characteristics of the Aspen – they shimmer like no other tree. 

The view up slope reveals a carpet of gold and orange, with evergreen mixed in.  From a distance the colors blend together as if one single entity. 

Treasures Found

The sun fills an open area, highlighting clumps of grasses.  Walking around the area I find an angle that captures how the sunlight falls across green blades of grass.  Each blade stretching towards the light, as if to drink it in and warm itself in the morning sunshine. 

A small bunch of purple flowers on the edge of the trail catches my eye as I walk past.  The petals still closed against the cool of the night, one has been warmed by the sun and has stretched out its petals revealing a yellow middle.  It will not last long as the night grow colder, and the sun spends less time warming the flowers.  Other flowers next to the one still in bloom have already come to the end of their lives.  They have dried up and spent their seeds to come again next Spring.  Job well done.

Wood

Trees, and specifically, trees that are old and have character always catch my attention.  The old nature of the wood has a story to tell and a lesson to impart.  How it has changed over the course of time, withstanding fire, rain, hail, sun, wind and snow.  Each leaving its mark and adding to the character.  Each deepening the texture, color, tones and shape of the wood.  My interest is piqued by finding a way to tell the story of each one.  I hope I do each one justice in the story I tell.  In gratitude to the forest, I often spend long hours exploring the character and story of each piece, and how each piece flows together to create a symbiosis.

Alone in the Forest

I hike along and wonder why I have not seen anyone else.  There were people in front and behind me and I hear nothing.  Strange.  Three streams are crossed and after a steep uphill, the trail begins to go downhill.  I know this is wrong.  Somewhere, I have missed a turn.  I turn around and head back, stopping to enjoy the sunrise and the morning in the forest. 

Life with Scleroderma

My goal for today’s wander is a set of 14,000 foot peaks in the Collegiate Range.  The weather is clear and warm, I have started the hike early, giving plenty of time to summit and get back down to tree line before the unsettled afternoon weather.  Today, my body does not want to cooperate with such ambitions.  My gut grumbles and I have an urgent need to relieve my bowels.  This continues throughout the morning, making it difficult to progress. 

As I climb, my body slows considerably, and the old familiar feeling of being unable to push sets in.  I know this feeling and know that it is a sign that my body is again out of iron.  Since my body has stopped absorbing iron from food, I need support from a hematologist to treat the chronic anemia and get me back on my feet.  Monthly blood draws show the decline, bit by bit, until I get here.  Then it is time for another round of treatment.  Sometimes it only takes one and other times it takes several.

When to Push

It is always a balance of when to push through the exhaustion and not feeling great and when to respect that my body is just done.  I have learned over time that pushing through this iron deficient fatigue never pays.  I can keep going, slowly and with lots of breaks, but today, I decide I am going to honor where I am and return to the car. 

Correct Trail

As I cross over one, two then three streams I know I must be coming close to the correct trail.  Then, there it is.  Right where it should be.  How I missed it this morning is a mystery to me.  It is now 8:30 am and I have made my decision to return to the car and leave this climb for another wander.  A moment of desire to get above the trees makes me reconsider my decision.  My guts grumble and I have another urgent need.  That makes my decision final, I will return to the car.

No Regrets

Life with a chronic illness means that sometimes things don’t turn out the way I would like.  However, any day spent with a walk in the forest is still a good day.  I don’t begrudge the disease.  Being angry with the impact of the disease on my life expends valuable energy.  I chose to spend my energy wandering the forest, capturing the essence of what I see and feel, and telling the story.  That is the only part I have any control over as I cannot control the disease or where it goes.  Today was another win for me. 

Tea

I make my way to Buena Vista and find the nearest coffee shop, so I can at last have a pot of tea.  The previous morning, while making breakfast, I toasted my stove.  This morning’s wander was done sans any tea.  While that is a sorry way to start any morning, the sunrise and stunning landscape sufficed to wake me up and start my day proper.  In the end, a pot of tea is still welcome and thoroughly enjoyed.

WanderJill